The Durango Affair Page 6

  More kisses, her mind immediately responded. And if you stop being so dang stubborn, you’d also get a temporary bed partner. What do you have to lose? You’ll be entering into a relationship with your eyes open and no expectations. You’ll know up front that love has nothing to do with it. Besides, you’ll be giving your child a chance to develop a relationship with a father who cares.

  Because of her experience with her father, that meant everything to Savannah. She believed that even when their marriage ended, Durango would remain a major part of his child’s life.

  Savannah also needed to think about the other reasons why marrying Durango was a good idea.

  Pulling her body up, she shifted to her side. First was the issue of having a temporary bed partner if she decided to go that route. She’d dated but had never been into casual sex so she hadn’t been involved with anyone since Thomas Crawford. She had dated Thomas exclusively for a year and things between them had been going well until he’d gotten jealous about an assignment she’d gotten that he had wanted. He’d even tried convincing her to turn the job down so he could have it—talk about someone being selfish and self-centered. It had been over a year, close to two since she’d broken up with Thomas or slept with anyone. The night she had shared a bed with Durango hadn’t just been a night of want for her; it had been a night of need, a strictly hormonal affair in which she really hadn’t acted like herself.

  She tipped her head to the side and moved on to the other reason for marrying Durango. Expectations. Their expectations would be set and neither of them would be wearing blinders. She knew their marriage would not be the real thing. He didn’t love her and she didn’t love him. Having reasonable expectations would definitely make things easier emotionally when the time came for them to split.

  The more she thought about it, the more she knew that accepting his offer of marriage was the best thing. Her child would be getting the type of father that she never had; a father her baby would be able to depend on.

  And then there were all the other Westmorelands who would be her child’s extended family. She had seen firsthand at Chase and Jessica’s wedding just what a close-knit group they were. Being part of a large family was another thing she’d missed growing up, but it was something her child could have.

  Her brain began spinning with all the positives, but she forced herself to think about the negatives, as well. At the moment she could only imagine one. The possibility of her falling in love with him.

  She couldn’t even envision such a thing happening, but she knew there was that possibility. Durango would not be a hard man to love. A woman could definitely lose her heart to him if she wasn’t careful. He was so strong and assertive and yet, he was also a giving and a caring person. She noticed his sensitivity in the ways that he saw to her needs: making sure he’d left breakfast for her; coming into her room in the dead of night to make sure she was warm enough; inquiring about her and their baby’s health.

  But still, there was no way she could ever fall in love. She doubted that she could give him or any man a slice of her soul or a piece of her heart.

  She knew that no matter how much she enjoyed the time she would spend with Durango during her pregnancy, she could not lose her heart to him. Ever.

  Several hours had passed since Durango and Savannah had shared that heated kiss, and the residual effects were so strong that he couldn’t think straight enough to balance his accounting records. Instead of concentrating on debits and credits he was way too focused on the incredible sensations he was still feeling, the electrical jolts that were still flowing through his body.

  He had kissed women, plenty of times, but none had left a mark on him like Savannah Claiborne had. There was something about her taste, a succulent blend of sweetness, innocence and lusciousness, all rolled into one tangy, overpowering flavor that sent all kinds of crazy, out-of-control feelings slithering all through his body. She made his temperature rise, clogged his senses and forced his pulse to race.

  “Dammit.”

  He slapped the accounting books shut and turned away from the computer screen. The last thing he needed was to make a miscalculation on the ledger for the horse-breeding business he co-owned with his good friend McKinnon Quinn.

  He leaned back in his chair and his thoughts returned to Savannah. He just hoped her decision would be the one he wanted. He simply refused to consider any other possibility.

  Six

  “W hat the hell! Savannah? Are you all right?”

  Savannah heard the footsteps behind her. She also heard the concern as well as the panic in Durango’s voice, but she was too weak to lift her head and turn around. She didn’t want him to see her like this. How humiliating was it to be on your knees on the floor of a bathroom, holding your head over a commode?

  “Savannah, what’s wrong?”

  The moment she could, she expelled a breath and said the two words she hoped would explain everything. It appeared that he hadn’t gotten the picture yet. “Morning sickness.”

  “Morning sickness? Is this what morning sickness is all about?”

  Savannah suppressed a groan. What had he thought it was about? She was about to give him a snappy answer when her stomach clenched warningly. It was just as well since at that moment her body quickly reminded her of her condition and without any control, she closed her eyes, lowered her head and continued to bring up portions of yesterday’s dinner.

  “What can I do?”

  It was on the tip of her tongue to tell him what he could do was go away. She didn’t need an audience. “Nothing,” she managed to say moments later. “Please, just leave me alone.”

  “Not even if your life depended on it, sweetheart,” he said softly. Crouching down on the floor beside her, he wrapped his arms gently around her and whispered, “We’re in this thing together, remember? Let me help you.”

  Before she could tell him that she didn’t need his help and there wasn’t anything he could do, he proved her wrong when she felt another spasm of nausea. He took a damp washcloth and began tenderly wiping her face and mouth.

  Then he held her while her stomach began settling down. She was so touched by this generous display of caring, she leaned against his supporting body, while his huge hand gently stroked her belly into calmness. And as if with a will of its own, her head fell within the curve of his shoulder. No man had ever shown her so much tenderness. Okay, she confessed silently, Rico had always been there for her when she needed him, but since he was her brother he didn’t count.

  “That’s right, baby, just relax for a moment. Everything is going to be fine. I’m going to take care of you,” he murmured softly, brushing his lips against her temple and placing a kiss on her forehead.

  Then she heard the toilet flushing at the same time as she was scooped up in Durango’s strong arms. And after closing down the toilet lid, he sat down on it with her cradled in his arms as he continued to gently stroke her stomach. A short while later, as if she weighed nothing, he stood and sat her on the countertop next to the sink.

  “Do you think a soda will help settle your stomach?” he asked, staring down in her eyes.

  With the intensity of his gaze, her breath nearly got clogged in her throat but she managed to say, “Yes.”

  “Will you be okay while I go and get you one?”

  “Yes, I’ll be fine.”

  He nodded. “I’ll be right back.”

  As soon as he left, Savannah inhaled a deep breath. As usual, her bout with nausea was going away just as quickly as it had come. Deciding to take advantage of the time Durango was gone, she gently lowered her body off the counter and immediately began brushing her teeth. She had just finished rinsing out her mouth when Durango returned.

  “Here you go.”

  She took the cold can of ginger ale he offered and after quickly pulling the tab, she took a sip, immediately feeling better. After finishing the rest she lowered the can from her mouth, licked her lips and said, “Thanks, I needed that.”


  She quickly began studying the can. Durango was staring at her and she felt embarrassed. She knew she looked a mess. One of the things she had learned at the all-girl school her grandparents had sent her to was that a lady never showed signs of weakness in front of a man. She’d also been taught that a man was not supposed to see a woman at her worst. Unfortunately some things couldn’t be helped. Besides, it wasn’t as if she had invited him to join her in the bathroom this morning. Why had he come, anyway?

  As if reading her mind, he said, “I know you said you usually don’t eat anything in the morning, but I was about to have breakfast and wanted to check to make sure you didn’t want to join me.”

  “I would not have been able to eat anything.”

  “Yeah, I can see why. And you go through this every morning?” he asked, and once again she heard the deep concern in his voice.

  “Yes, but it’s not always this bad. I guess eating all that stew at dinner last night wasn’t such a good idea.”

  “Evidently. What did your doctor say about it?”

  She sighed deeply. “There’s not a lot he could say, Durango. During the early months of pregnancy, morning sickness happens.”

  “That’s not good enough.”

  She held up both hands to stop him. She knew he was about to urge her to see a local doctor. “Look, not now, okay? More than anything I need to get myself together. Just give me a few minutes.”

  “And you’re sure you’re okay?”

  “I’m sure.”

  “Is there anything else I can get you?”

  She shifted uneasily, not used to this amount of attention. “No, thanks. I don’t need anything.”

  He nodded. “Okay then, I’ll leave you alone to get dressed.”

  He turned to leave then slowly turned back around and surprised her when his mouth brushed over hers. “Sorry my kid is causing you so much trouble,” he said after the light caress.

  And before she could gather her wits and say anything, he had walked out of the bathroom, leaving her alone.

  Durango paced the living room, glad he hadn’t gone out. He winced at the thought of how things would have been for Savannah if she’d been alone. Then it struck him that she had gone through it alone before. She lived by herself and there had to have been times when she’d been sick and no one had been there with her. When she’d first mentioned this morning sickness thing, he’d thought she just experienced a queasy stomach in the morning and preferred not eating until later. He had no idea she spent part of each morning practically retching her guts out.

  He paused and rubbed his hand down his face. It was easy to see he wasn’t used to being around a pregnant woman. There hadn’t been any babies in his family until Delaney had given birth a few years ago, and then she’d spent most of the time during her pregnancy in her husband’s homeland in the Middle East.

  Although he had only been around Jayla a few times while she was pregnant, the only thing he’d been aware of was that she was huge. Because she had been carrying twins she always looked as if she was about to deliver at any moment. He didn’t recall Storm ever mentioning anything about Jayla being sick and throwing up every morning. It seemed that he needed to be the one reading a baby book.

  Shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans, he began pacing again. Okay, so maybe he was getting freaked out and carried away. Savannah had claimed what she was going through was normal, but even so, that didn’t mean he had to like it.

  He turned when he heard the sound of her entering the room. As he studied her he found it hard to believe she was the same woman who just moments ago had looked as if she were on the brink of death. Talk about a stunning transformation. She had changed into a pair of jeans and a top and both looked great on her. Immediately the thought came to his mind that she looked good in anything she put on her body, whether it was an expensive gown, slacks and a top, jeans or an oversize T-shirt.

  She had added a touch of makeup to her features, but mainly her natural beauty was shining through, and it was shining so brightly that it made the room glow…which wasn’t hard to do considering the weather outside. The storm was still at its worst, although the recent weather reports indicated things would start clearing up at some point that day.

  “You okay?” he asked, quickly crossing the room to her.

  She smiled faintly up at him. “Yes, I’m fine and I want to apologize for—”

  “Don’t. There’s nothing to apologize for. I’m glad I was here.”

  She hated to admit it, but she was glad he’d been there, too. Although she had gone through the same ordeal alone countless times, it had felt good to have a shoulder to lean on. And it had been extremely nice knowing that that particular shoulder belonged to the man who had a vested interest in her condition.

  She also didn’t want to admit that she was fully aware of how handsome he looked this morning. Though to be honest, he always looked good in jeans and the Western shirts he liked to wear. Deciding she needed to think about other things, she walked over to the window and glanced out. She noticed the weather was still stormy. “Will you have to go out today?”

  He moved to stand beside her and glanced out the window, as well. “Maybe later. The reports indicate the weather will begin clearing up soon.”

  “It will?” she asked, surprised, turning to face him.

  “Yes.”

  She smiled brightly. “That means there’s a possibility I’ll be able to leave today.”

  “Yes, there is that possibility,” he said. “I know you can’t eat a heavy breakfast but is there something I can get for you that might agree with your stomach?”

  “Um, a couple of saltines and a cup of herbal tea might work.”

  “Then saltines and herbal tea it is,” he said, turning and walking toward the kitchen.

  “And Durango?”

  He turned back to her. “Yes?”

  With her heart pounding she said, “I’ve made a decision about your proposal. I think we should talk about it.”

  He nodded. “All right. We can sit and talk at the kitchen table if you’d like.”

  “Okay,” she said, and followed him into the kitchen.

  “So, what have you decided?”

  Savannah lifted her head from studying the saltines on the plate in front of her. She had thought things through most of the night but his actions that morning had only solidified her decision.

  She set down her cup of tea and met his gaze. “I’m going to take you up on your offer and marry you.”

  She watched as he sat back in the chair and looked at her with something akin to relief. “But I’d like to explain the reasons for my decision and why I still won’t sleep with you,” she added.

  “All right.”

  She paused after taking another sip of her tea, and then said, “I think I told you I didn’t want to get married just because I was pregnant.”

  He nodded. “Because of that ordeal with your father, right?”

  “Yes.”

  “How did your parents meet?”

  “In college. When Mom showed up at her parents’ house with my father over spring break in her senior year of college and announced that she planned to marry him after she graduated and that she was pregnant, my grandparents hit the roof. You see, my maternal grandparents never approved of interracial romances, so they weren’t too happy about my parents’ relationship.”

  “I can imagine they weren’t.”

  “Those were certainly not the future plans that Roger and Melissa Billingslea had for their daughter. But nothing would change my mother’s mind. She thought Jeff Claiborne was the best thing since raisin bread and when they couldn’t convince her that he wasn’t, my grandparents threatened to disown my mother.”

  “Did that work?”

  “No. Mom and Dad were married a few months later. According to Mom things were great at first, but then he lost his job with this big corporation and had to take a job as a traveling salesman. That’s when thin
gs started going downhill. Dad began changing. However, it took almost fifteen years for her to find out that he’d been living a double life and that he had a mistress as well as another daughter living out west.”

  Durango took a sip of coffee. Chase had pretty much told him the story one night over a can of beer.

  “It wasn’t easy for me and Rico growing up,” she said, reclaiming his attention. “Some people view children from mixed marriages as if they are from another planet. But with Mom’s help we got past all of that, and eventually my grandparents came around. And it didn’t take long for them to try to take over our lives. My grandmother even paid for me to go to an all-girl high school. But when it came time for college, I decided to attend one of my own choosing and selected Tennessee State. I’m glad I did.”

  Durango took another sip of his coffee. He appreciated her sharing that bit of history with him but felt compelled to ask, “So what does any of that has to do with my asking you to marry me…or why you won’t sleep with me once we’re married?”

  Savannah leaned back in her own chair. “More than anything I want my child to be a part of a large, loving family. I also want my child to know that its father is a part of its life because he wants to be, and not because he was forced to be.”

  A part of Durango reached out to her, feeling her pain caused by a father who hadn’t cared. He was not that kind of man and he was glad she knew it. “I will be a good father to our child, Savannah.”

  She smiled wryly. “I believe that you will, Durango. Now the issue is whether I believe you will be good to me, as well.”

  He lifted his brow. “You think I’ll mistreat you?”

  She shook her head. “No, that’s not it. I think you are a man who likes women but I don’t want to be just another available body to you, Durango. Not to you or to any man.”

  Durango placed his teacup down, thinking that if she expected an apology from him for all the women he’d enjoyed before meeting her, she could forget it. Like he’d told her before, what was in the past should stay in the past, unless…