Tonight and Forever Read online

  Lorren blinked twice. She didn’t recall seeing a ring on his finger. “You’re married?”

  “Not anymore,” he replied somberly. “My wife died ten years ago.”

  The deep emotion in his voice got Lorren’s full attention. “I’m sorry.”

  “Me, too. Denise was a very special woman. She taught me a lot during the time we were together. She especially taught me never to take anyone or anything for granted. Life’s too short. She was a very courageous woman. Even at the end, she had more guts than a lot of people I know.”

  “She died ten years ago? She had to be rather young,” Lorren said.

  Justin nodded. “Yes. She was twenty-four when she died of an inoperable brain tumor,” he replied. “We were married only five years, but they were the greatest years of my life. We were both young, and I was struggling through med school, but we had something a lot of young couples don’t have when they get married.”

  A lump formed in Lorren’s throat. She moistened her lips. “What?”

  “We had a firm belief in commitment and in the value of marriage. We took the minister’s words to heart…to love and to honor, in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, till death do us part.”

  Lorren’s eyes became misty. He’d lost a lot more than she had, and apparently still believed in love. She couldn’t help but think of Scott.

  It was love at first sight, or so she’d thought at the time. During the months they’d dated, he’d been her knight in shining armor. But his sterling coating began tarnishing not long after their marriage. To be more precise, their problems began on their wedding night. Terrible regrets assailed her, and she looked into Justin’s eyes.

  Some unexplainable need pushed her to ask the next question. “Do you think you’ll ever marry again, Justin?”

  “Yes. Under the right circumstances, marriage is a pleasant and worthwhile institution. I believe in both love and marriage. It was meant for a man and woman to live together in holy matrimony.”

  Lorren frowned. “If you really believe that, then why haven’t you remarried?”

  He smiled. “So far, a woman hasn’t come along who I can’t imagine living my life without. Until she does, I’m going to remain single. I happen to believe in fate. If there’s a woman out there, and we’re destined to be together, I won’t have to look for her. Fate will bring her to me.”

  Lorren gave his words some thought. She considered herself an intelligent woman who believed in reality. As far as she was concerned, his belief in fate was romantic and idealistic hogwash. Nothing in life was left to fate.

  “I hate to sound cynical, but I don’t share your fairy-tale ideals on love and marriage. I stopped believing in both long ago. My ex-husband made absolutely sure of that.”

  Justin’s throat tightened with the compelling look of pain in her eyes. For some reason that he couldn’t explain, he wanted to pull her closer, surround her with his strength, and somehow remove the hurt shadowing her eyes.

  “Whoever he was, Lorren, you’re better off without him. Any man who makes a woman lose faith in love and marriage isn’t fit to be called a husband, and doesn’t deserve her devotion. And I hope he pays dearly for making you feel that way.”

  Lorren looked up at him. His eyes had darkened, his voice, although hard, had lowered slightly. The quiet solidity in his words touched her. His arms surrounded her, drawing her a little closer to his body. Her hands rested on his powerful shoulders, and she could feel his strength.

  Reluctantly, he released her when the music came to an end. She felt an odd sense of loss.

  “Thanks for the dance, Lorren.” Justin led her from the dance floor to the bar set up on the other side of the room. “I understand you’ve moved back to Ennis.”

  Lorren couldn’t help but smile at the thought of how fast news could travel in a small town. “Yes, that’s right.” The pressure of his hand on her back was light, but she could feel his long, masculine fingers. They seemed to burn hot, branding her sensitized skin.

  “Will you join me for dinner tomorrow night?”

  Lorren stared up at him. Getting through a dance with Justin had been tough enough. An entire evening in his presence was not in her game plan. Not now, not ever. “No, I’m sorry.”

  A probing query came into his eyes. “How about the following night?”

  She smiled inwardly, doubting many women turned him down for anything. “I don’t go out with strangers.”

  He chuckled. “We’re no longer strangers, are we? However, if you want character references, I believe I can drum up a few.”

  “I’m sure you can, but I’ll be busy.”

  “What about—”

  “I’ll be busy for quite some time, Justin,” she cut in.

  “How about a rain check?”

  “Sorry, I don’t give them. If you’ll excuse me, I need to talk with Syneda about something.” She walked off, feeling the heat of Justin’s intense gaze on her back.

  “Back so soon? I thought the two of you made a striking couple.”

  Lorren gave Syneda a piqued glare. “Girl, pleaz. Don’t even think it.”

  A smile touched Syneda’s lips. “Evidently Justin does, sister-girl. He’s on his way back over here.”

  Lorren’s heart skipped a beat. “He’s probably going to ask you to dance this time.”

  Syneda gave her a pointed look. “I don’t think so. It’s obvious the brother is interested in you. He’s your Dr. Madaris.”

  “He’s not my anything. The man belongs to any woman who wants him.”

  Syneda laughed. “From the looks the two of you got while dancing, I would say there’s quite a few.”

  When Justin was a few feet from them, Lorren whispered, “I’m going upstairs to the ladies’ room. He’s all yours. I’m sure you can handle him.” She gave Syneda a huge smile before turning to walk off.

  Lorren strode across the room and up the stairs. Upon reaching the top landing, she glanced around, remembering the newspapers, magazines, and schoolbooks that used to lie scattered around when she’d lived here. Now everything was neat and tidy. Even with the noise of the guests from below, she was acutely aware of the house’s stillness compared to how it had been years ago when ten foster children had scampered through it.

  The oversize house that had once been her home since the age of eight was now a rooming house. Mama Nora’s boarders were college students who thought the forty-five-minute drive into Dallas was nothing compared to Mama Nora’s down-home cooking, friendship, and grandmotherly disposition.

  Leaning against the wall for a moment, Lorren suppressed a sigh. Syneda thought Justin was interested in her. Even if he was, once he discovered the truth about her, he’d realize pursuing her was a waste of time. Scott had made her painfully aware she was a woman incapable of fulfilling a man’s needs and desires in the bedroom. Her sexual inadequacies, he’d claimed, were the reason he had sought out other women. He’d once described her as a prettily wrapped package he’d anxiously waited for, but once he’d unwrapped it, he’d been disappointed.

  Lorren struggled to fight back tears that burned her eyes. She would never place herself in a position to have to deal with that type of disappointment and rejection from any man again. And if that meant shielding herself from the male world, and choosing a life of celibacy, then so be it. Somehow, she would continue to battle the pangs of loneliness that would often hit her.

  Her thoughts shifted to Justin Madaris. He wasn’t the only one who had been committed to wedding vows. In the beginning, so had she. She had stayed married to Scott for those two years, deeply believing in the minister’s words that…What God has joined together…

  But by the time their marriage had ended, she was only thankful to God for giving her the sense to accept she’d made a big mistake in her choice of a mate, and the courage to leave Scott when she had. No one, not even Syneda, knew completely what had finally driven her away from Scott. Even thinking about it made her feel ashamed.


  Shaking off the despairing memories, she returned downstairs and headed toward the table that held the huge punch bowl.

  “Baby, are you enjoying yourself?”

  Lorren turned toward the voice. The aged face of the older woman couldn’t shroud evidence of past years of radiant beauty. Her hair, completely gray, was pulled back and up in a twisted bun.

  Lorren smile. “Yes, Mama Nora. I am.”

  “You all did me well tonight. I feel so blessed.”

  “We’re the ones who are blessed for being recipients of Papa Paul’s and your unselfish love. Not only did you open your home to us, but you opened your hearts as well.”

  “Paul and I couldn’t have kids of our own. That saddened us. We’d always wanted a big family. In the end, we got just what we wanted.”

  Lorren chuckled. “Bet you got more than you bargained for.”

  Nora Phillips reached out and embraced Lorren. “We never thought so. And I’m glad you came back home, baby.”

  “Me, too.”

  “Good evening, Ms. Nora. Lorren.”

  The deep familiar masculine voice made Lorren turn around.

  “Dr. Madaris, I’m glad to see that you and Lorren have met already.” Nora’s sparkling eyes darted between the couple.

  A disarming grin covered Justin’s face. “Yes, ma’am, we met earlier tonight.”

  “Good. Did Lorren tell you she’s a writer?”

  Justin gave Lorren a smile that sent her pulse racing. “No, ma’am, she didn’t mention it. What type of books do you write, Lorren?”

  “Children’s stories,” Lorren replied, eyeing Mama Nora and Justin. It was obvious Mama Nora liked him.

  “Children’s stories? That’s interesting,” Justin said.

  His comment drew Lorren’s gaze to his mesmerizing eyes. As her heart skipped a beat, she became aware of a heat curling deep within her.

  The disc jockey began playing an old dance song by the Pointer Sisters. The older people had cleared the dance floor, and a younger group had taken over. Syneda was among them and motioned to Lorren.

  “Go on, Lorren,” Mama Nora said, laughing. “Of all my children, you and Syneda were the two who really liked to boogie-woogie.”

  Lorren laughed. She remembered how she and Syneda had constantly practiced their dance routines, waiting anxiously for the day they would receive a call to audition for “Soul Train.” Of course, that had been wishful thinking on their part. “I think I will.” She left to join her friends on the dance floor.

  Justin’s breath caught in his throat when Lorren began swaying her hips to the music. Her shoulders dipped and rolled while keeping time with the beat. Thoroughly enjoying herself, she laughed loudly and exuberantly with the others. Her legs were moving, and her feet were effortlessly flying through the intricate steps. It amazed him that she didn’t appear to be working up any kind of sweat as her body gyrated to the exhilarating beat.

  He was entranced. She didn’t have to sweat; he was doing enough for both just watching her. He wiped perspiration from his forehead.

  “That child’s got rhythm, doesn’t she?” Mama Nora smiled warmly at him.

  Justin didn’t have to ask Ms. Nora whom she was talking about. He wondered if his interest in Lorren was apparent to the older woman. “Yes, ma’am. She, uh, moves very well.” His mind swam with images of Lorren’s rhythmic movements in his bed. He could only imagine what she would feel like moving beneath him.

  The dance ended and everyone clapped and cheered.

  The song the DJ played next was a slow number by Janet Jackson. Justin felt a sudden need to feel Lorren in his arms, following his lead. “Excuse me, Ms. Nora.”

  Lorren, breathless from dancing, glanced in Justin’s direction and saw him coming toward her. The little bit of breath she had left was lost. Even the air held still for his approach. He appeared to be clad in an aura of tightly reined sexuality she didn’t know could exist in a man.

  Until now.

  Dear heaven, I have to get away from him. I can’t allow myself to become attracted to him.

  She quickly turned to Syneda. “Do me a favor and call me a cab.”

  “What? You’re leaving? Now?”

  “Yeah.”

  Syneda saw Justin approaching. “The brother has really gotten next to you, hasn’t he?”

  Lorren didn’t pretend not to know to whom Syneda was referring. “Yeah, and I can’t…I just can’t deal with it now.”

  “It’s been a year since your divorce, Lorren. When will you be able to deal with Justin Madaris, or any man for that matter?”

  “I don’t know, Syneda. I really don’t know.” She turned and hurried out the door.

  Justin stopped his approach and watched Lorren walk out the door. That was the second time tonight she’d deliberately avoided him, and he was contemplating going after her.

  He was incredulous. The desire to chase after a woman—any woman—had never come over him before. But then, he’d never before encountered a woman with the ability to send fire coursing through his veins, or one who made him feel so stimulated.

  Not even Denise had done that.

  His hand closed over the coin medallion nestled on his chest. He could feel it through the soft material of his shirt. Denise had given the gold chain from which hung a gold coin to him on their wedding night, and he’d worn it constantly, seeing no reason to take it off—even after her death. It was a visible, tangible sign of the strong love the two of them had shared, and the commitment they’d made. He had loved her with every breath in his body.

  Over the years, he’d met and dated a number of attractive women, women who’d tempted his passions but hadn’t been able to tangle his emotions. His thoughts shifted back to Lorren. Tonight she had done exactly that.

  He frowned. The last thing he needed after years of striving for inner peace, of pushing away painful memories, was to become involved with a bitter woman consumed in disappointment and heartache over a broken marriage. A cynical, frustrated woman who could become a threat to the harmonious niche he’d created for himself since Denise’s death.

  It was obvious Lorren had locked her feelings away from any man who dared to get close. The moment he’d suggested they go out, the expression on her face had been anxious, almost stricken. He resented her ability to reawaken his protective instincts. After she’d told him of her views on love and marriage, he had wanted to find her ex-husband and do the man in. He must have been some kind of a jerk.

  Justin sighed deeply. Some inexplicable need made dismissing her from his mind totally impossible. Lorren Jacobs was a puzzle, one he wanted to solve. In order to do that, he’d have to see her again. And he intended to do just that.

  Lorren felt exhausted during the cab ride.

  Her concentration turned to the darkened countryside beyond the car window. The cab’s headlights occasionally shone on the huge signs along the interstate denoting the Bluebonnet Trails.

  Four well-marked trails covering approximately forty miles of good, all-weather roads had been laid out years ago by the Ennis Garden Club. The vast fields of bluebonnets had been slowly disappearing as a result of the growth of the cattle industry. The trails were intended to preserve bluebonnets for future generations to enjoy. No section of the state had broader acres or wider expanses of bluebonnets than the countryside surrounding Ennis. She smiled, remembering her bicycle rides on the trails each spring.

  “Here you are, lady.” The rough voice of the cabdriver interrupted her thoughts.

  “Thanks.” She paid her fare and was glad she’d left quite a few outside lights burning. Only five houses surrounded Elliot Lake on the outskirts of town, between Dallas and Ennis. Mama Nora owned the lake house Lorren would be occupying. The other owners were out-of-towners who usually came to the lake only during the heat of the summer months.

  According to Mama Nora, the son of the owners of the house next to hers was currently occupying it. Lorren hadn’t seen any sign of an
yone when she’d arrived earlier in the day.

  Before she could step out of the vehicle, bright headlights shone through the back window of the cab. A car had pulled off the main road and onto the single lane leading toward the lake houses.

  “Expecting someone, miss?” the cabdriver asked when he noticed her hesitation in getting out of his cab.

  Lorren welcomed the concern in his voice. “No, but since this is the only road to the lake, it’s probably my neighbor coming home. But still, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t leave just yet.”

  “No problem. I have a granddaughter about your age. I worry about her comings and goings all the time. We’re living in dangerous times. Places aren’t safe like they used to be. Why would you want to be out this far by yourself anyway? There’s nothing around here but woods. The closest store is the Davises’ gas station five miles back.”

  Lorren sighed. Mama Nora had asked her the same thing. “I want privacy.”

  “Well, you sure got it out here.”

  The sound of a car’s engine came closer, and, moments later, a candy apple red Corvette pulled up beside the cab.

  “Oh, that’s the doctor, miss. You’re safe. Good night.”

  A funny feeling settled in the pit of Lorren’s stomach. “The doctor?”

  “Yeah. He’s been in town almost a year now and…”

  The man’s last words were lost on Lorren as she quickly exited from the cab. Her anger had reached its boiling point. The nerve of Justin Madaris following her home. Well, it was time to throw down on the brother, who at that moment was getting out of the sports car.

  Lorren watched as the cab pulled off, leaving her and Justin alone. She turned to face him, totally ticked off. “Is there a reason you followed me, Dr. Madaris?”

  “I didn’t follow you, Lorren.”

  She glared up at him. “What are you talking about? If you didn’t follow me, then why’re you here?”

  A smile tilted Justin’s lips. “I live in the lake house through the trees. I’m your neighbor.”