Bachelor Unleashed Page 12

  “In that case, I see no reason for us not to continue our affair beyond the holidays. In other words, there is no reason not to go back to things being the way they were. And in addition, I see no reason why we can’t bring our affair out of the bedroom and start going out more…unless there’s a reason you prefer not being seen with me.”

  Farrah’s head was spinning dizzily with everything Xavier was saying. But she was coherent enough to latch on to his last statement. “For what reason would I not want to be seen with you?”

  “That you’re still pining away for your ex-husband and you don’t want him to know you’re in a relationship with someone.”

  If Farrah hadn’t been programmed to act in a dignified manner, especially when discussing such an important topic, she would have fallen to the floor and rolled over a few times in laughter. Anyone who knew her and Dustin’s history knew there was no way that she was pining for her ex. In fact, whenever she saw him, she wondered why she’d fallen in love with him in the first place. It’s not that he’d ever had anything going for him that was so spectacular. But while they’d been in college, he had convinced her he was the best thing since sliced bread and that he would be going places.

  She had believed he loved her, wanted to spend the rest of his life with her and they would stay together forever. She didn’t even mind during their first year when he couldn’t get a job and she had supported the both of them, or the times she’d put up with his deadbeat parents whose way of life was calling for loans and not paying them back.

  “So, did I hit it out of the ballpark, Farrah?”

  She could only assume he figured that because she hadn’t yet responded to his statement. “You didn’t come close, Xavier. In fact, you struck out so bad they are replacing you in the game entirely. There is no way I’d ever get back with Dustin, nor do I want to.”

  She didn’t like the look she saw in his eyes. Although he heard what she said, she couldn’t tell if he believed her. “If what you say is true, then there is no reason why we can’t continue what we once had without limitations, right?”

  Farrah’s pulse began beating wildly, anxiously, and that cloak of protectiveness she used as a shield immediately went into place. There were lots of reasons why they couldn’t continue what they once had. And not imposing limitations was simply out of the question.

  Although she would never admit she had developed a weakness for him, the truth of the matter was that on more than one occasion she had lost control and lowered her guard, which was totally unacceptable behavior. When she was with Xavier she had a tendency to let loose, getting buck wild and crazy. Not just in the bedroom—that she could handle. But with her heart. Only with him did she care about the here and now and not worry about the outcome.

  She lifted her chin. “There is a reason,” she said, knowing what she was about to say was an absolute lie. “Have you ever considered that the only reason I don’t want to take up where we left off in an affair, Xavier, is because I just don’t want to be romantically involved with you any longer?”

  Darn. Instead of frowning, he was smiling, which meant he hadn’t believed a word she’d just said. Hadn’t taken her seriously. She watched as he crossed his arms over his chest and braced his legs apart in a ready-for-combat stance. She hated thinking it, but his standing that way and looking at her with that “I know better” smirk on his face sent a rush of adrenaline up her spine.

  “You expect me to believe that, Farrah? The same woman who I took on the backseat of a private car last night while cruising on a barge on an icy cold night down the Hudson.”

  She narrowed her eyes at him. “Why can’t I convince you it was nothing but sex?”

  He shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know, but here’s your chance. Convince me. Prove you’re not afraid of letting your emotions get in the way of an affair with me, and that your mind is not getting confused with the L-word. Prove to me, Farrah, that for us it’s only about sex, which is the only thing we want anyway, and that we don’t have to worry about anything else to the point that we establish limitations.”

  Her mind was spinning in confusion, and she wondered if he’d caused that to happen deliberately. All she knew at that moment was that she had a point to prove to him, several in fact. First, she was capable of keeping her emotions under wraps. Second, she was not still carrying a torch for Dustin. And last but not least, she was not afraid of falling in love with Xavier.

  “Fine,” she threw out heatedly. “You think you’ve got everything figured out, but I’m going to prove you wrong, Xavier. I’m going to give you your affair without limitations and then you’re going to see just how wrong you are about everything.”

  Xavier couldn’t ignore the burst of happiness that tore through him at that moment, and he had to fight hard to keep a smile off his lips. With some outright manipulation, which he wasn’t all that thrilled about, he had moved Farrah into the spot where he wanted her for now.

  She had agreed to an affair without limitations, and he doubted that she fully understood exactly what that meant, but she would find out soon enough. Although they would continue to make love just as before, they would not be spending one hundred percent of the time between the sheets. He would take her out on dates, to parties—there were always a number of them to attend this time of year—and she would get to spend time with him around people who meant a lot to him. They were family and friends who would come to love her as much as he did.

  “Good, we’re on the same page now,” he heard himself saying as he crossed the room to her, needing to feel her in his arms, although he could tell she was still somewhat tiffed with him.

  “Fine,” she said, when he slid his arm around her waist and brought her body closer to his. She might not be happy with him now, but the moment he pulled her into his arms, she came willingly. And when he lowered his head to capture her mouth, there was not a single ounce of resistance in her body.

  She leaned in, and he felt her warmth deep, all the way to the pit of his stomach. He wasn’t surprised when he felt the shiver ease up his spine and his erection get harder. Desire sizzled through him, and he fought to push it back. This woman could set his body on fire, and at any other time he would take advantage of it. But not this time. He had his game plan tonight and didn’t want to ruin it.

  But there was no reason he couldn’t make love to her mouth if not her body, was there? After all, when it came to kissing, they always indulged in the ultimate enjoyment. Then he remembered. The fact that he had managed to breathe six months without tasting her was a miracle, and he didn’t intend to suffer through that agony again.

  He finally pulled his mouth away, but their greedy tongues were still intent on doing a tangling dance, if not inside their mouths then out. They always enjoyed this type of play where they took licking and sucking to a whole new level.

  And then his tongue was back inside her mouth again, and his arms tightened around her. It wouldn’t take much to ease her down on the sofa, push her dress up, pull down those leggings and bury his head between her legs and do a lot of tongue play there. It wouldn’t take much enticement for him to kiss every inch of her body. Unfortunately, he would save that specific activity for another day. Unknown her to, this kind of kissing was all they would be doing tonight.

  Ah hell, he thought, when he felt her hands wiggle between them and her fingers tug on his zipper. He needed to stop her before she went down on him. There was no way he could resist that. With all the strength he could gather, all the control he could muster, he reached down and took hold of her hand to stop her from going further.

  She pulled her mouth from his and looked up at him with a questioning gaze. “Why are you holding my hands, Xavier?”

  Before answering her question, he leaned down and took another lick around her mouth. Hell, she tasted as good as she looked. “I want to give you time to be absolutely sure I’m what you want, Farrah.”

  He had worded the statement carefully. Instead
of saying he wanted her to be sure that the affair was what she wanted, he had said he wanted her to be sure that he was what she wanted. There was a difference, and over the next few weeks he would show her what that difference was.

  “But I already know you’re what I want, Xavier.”

  Yes, she would want him sexually, that was a given. But he wanted her to want him in a way she’d never wanted another man, a way that went deeper than mere sex. He wanted to conquer her heart. For a man who just last week had thought he didn’t need the love of a woman, in the last forty-eight hours he had been proven wrong.

  “Yes, but I want you to be certain because now that you’ve agreed to an unlimited affair with me, Farrah, there’s no turning back.”

  She lifted her brow, as if his comment gave her pause. “No turning back” sounded kind of final in his book, so he knew it sounded likewise in hers, but now he was talking for keeps.

  She didn’t say anything for a long moment and then, “Why are you trying to make things so complicated, Xavier?”

  “Sorry if you think I’m doing that, sweetheart, but I just want to make sure a few weeks from now you don’t try kicking me out of your life again. I have to know that we want the same thing out of this relationship.”

  He was trying to defuse any suspicions she had that things with him weren’t on the up-and-up. He only hoped when she discovered they weren’t she would be too far gone to care.

  She nodded slowly. “Okay, I guess that makes sense.”

  “It does. Besides, another reason I need to make it an early night is because Cameron is flying in tomorrow and I need to have some papers ready for him to sign when he does.”

  He was deliberately giving her the impression that he was putting work before her. Although she didn’t say anything, he could tell she was both surprised and >disappointed.

  “Oh, well, then I guess I need to go.”

  “Not before we share dessert and not before you help me with kitchen clean up.”

  She smiled. “All right.”

  He wanted to kiss her again, and he figured before she left to return to the hotel that he would, several times. But at least she would be leaving with the knowledge that for the first time, though they’d had the convenience and the privacy to make love, they hadn’t.

  “Is the car warm enough for you, Ms. Langley?”

  Farrah glanced over the seat in front of her at Jules. Xavier had given the driver strict instructions to see to her every comfort, and to especially make sure she was kept warm.

  “Yes, thank you for asking.”

  She settled back against the plush leather seat, determined to replay in her mind all that had transpired tonight and to make sure she hadn’t imagined any thing.

  She’d gone to his house fully intending to convince him to extend their affair through the holidays, after which, they would go their separate ways again.

  For reasons she was still trying to figure out, he hadn’t wanted any part of that suggestion. Instead, he wanted to resume the affair with no limitations. He’d even gone so far as to suggest her reluctance to do so was because she was afraid of falling in love with him and because she still harbored feelings for Dustin.

  Okay, secretly she would agree the former did have some merit, but the latter did not. To prove him wrong on both counts, she had no choice but to agree to his terms. So technically, they were now involved in a longterm, no-strings relationship.

  Even more confusing to her was how, once she’d agreed, their relationship had taken a definite turn. But to where she hadn’t a clue. First, it had been the way he’d kissed her. It was greedy and hungry as usual, but it seemed like he was holding back, which didn’t make sense. After all, she had agreed to what he’d wanted. And no matter what she’d done, she hadn’t changed his mind about sleeping with her, although she knew without a doubt that he’d wanted her.

  Men!

  Now here she was, riding in the car alone as she returned to her hotel. Truly, what sense did that make? He could have easily asked that she stay the night and she would have. But he hadn’t. He’d even suggested she take time to think her decision through. Now, drawing in a deep breath, she decided to do just what he’d suggested.

  As the car sped along the Long Island Expressway, she closed her eyes. An unlimited affair with him meant essentially no more booty calls. At least they wouldn’t be termed that anymore. She had agreed that she and Xavier would start doing things outside the bedroom. More than likely they would go out to dinner on occasion, to a movie, to business functions.

  She felt a knot forming in the pit of her stomach at the thought of doing those things with him and knew the reason why. She might just begin to enjoy it too much. Her challenge was going to be keeping things in perspective. Though neither of them wanted to take things any further than they had previously, Xavier was now ready for more exclusiveness. At least she could rest assured he still wasn’t the marrying kind. Good, she thought, because neither was she.

  She opened her eyes and glanced down at her watch. It wasn’t even midnight. Depending on how things turned out between Kerrie Shaw and Lori Byers, she could very well be back in Charlotte around this time tomorrow. Doing so would have her out of New York before the snowstorm hit on Sunday. Xavier had even offered to take her to the airport tomorrow. Getting back home might be a good thing. It would put distance between them for at least a week and would give her time to clear her head and decide on the best way to handle him.

  Over ice cream and apple pie, Xavier had told her about his trip after the holidays to Los Angeles where he would be for a few days in January. Usually, she wouldn’t know about his trips until he was packed and ready to go because that was the type of relationship they’d had. For him to keep her abreast of his plans was going to take some getting used to.

  But for now she wanted just to concentrate on what had or hadn’t happened tonight. Sex was one of the things that hadn’t happened, and for a reason she didn’t quite understand. A part of her believed it was intentional on Xavier’s part.

  She had come here fully expecting dinner followed by hot, mind-blowing sex. That was the only kind she’d ever shared with Xavier, and tonight she had been willing, but for some reason, he had held back.

  After dessert he had kissed her a few times, and although she would admit the kisses had been long, drugging and delicious enough to tingle her toes and wet her panties, she had still felt him holding back on her. It was as if he was keeping himself in check, fearful of just what too many slow, deep kisses could do to them.

  And then, after they’d cleaned up the kitchen together, he had helped her back into her coat and gloves, had picked her up in his arms and, instead of carrying her upstairs to a bedroom, he had carried her outside and placed her on the backseat of the private car.

  He had told her that regardless of whether she stayed in New York over the weekend, he would be seeing her tomorrow and to expect his call. Why was she thinking already that, in addition to the feel of him easing back off sex, she was also losing control of the relationship? Now it seemed as if he had taken the lead role in managing just how things went between them. And she wasn’t sure if she particularly liked giving any man that much control over her.

  “We’ll be at your hotel in less than five minutes, Ms. Langley,” the driver interrupted her thoughts to inform her. “Thanks, Jules.”

  As they drove into the city, she wondered what would be the best way to take back that control she had somehow lost tonight. She didn’t like any man calling the shots and had dispensed with that nonsense at the moment the ink had dried on her divorce papers from Dustin.

  After the divorce she had been furious, even resentful, and at one point out for blood. In a fit of spite, she’d thought about suing the other woman. North Carolina was one of a few states that still enforced a century-old case law that said a wife could sue her husband’s mistress for breaking up a marriage. Her attorney had been more than happy to do it, and Dustin’s attorney
had scared her ex-husband shitless by informing him of a recent suit in which the duped ex-wife had gotten nine million dollars richer. Natalie had talked her out of it, but still she’d felt good knowing she had made Dustin sweat for a while.

  When the driver brought the car to a stop in front of her hotel, she gathered up her things. She had been so certain about tonight that she’d put her toothbrush in her purse. In a way, she was somewhat disappointed. But then she would be the first to admit engaging in the unknown was kind of exciting. She couldn’t help wondering what Xavier had planned for tomorrow. Surely he wasn’t going to push for another wasted night. If he did try going that route, she would have to do something about it.

  Chapter 12

  “Hey, man, you okay?”

  Xavier glanced across the desk at Cameron thinking that if he looked like a man who’d had a sleepless night then that was definitely right on the money. After he’d put Farrah inside the car and sent her home, he had walked around his house with a hard-on that wouldn’t go down. He’d called himself all kinds of fool. Although he’d known that in the long run he had done the right thing for them, he’d gone to bed with regrets of not having made love to her.

  “No, not really,” he said, deciding to be honest.

  The necessary documents had been signed, and now Cameron Cody owned yet another company. The negotiations had gone well, better than expected. Sleep-deprived or not, when it came to business, Xavier knew he was on top of his game. But now that he and Cameron were alone, that adrenaline high from earlier was fizzling fast.

  “What’s your problem, Xavier?”

  He couldn’t help but smile at Cameron’s question. For the first time since Dionne, he was actually having a problem with a woman. Before, he’d never considered a female significant enough to cause a problem in his life, but with Farrah things were different.