Essence of Desire Page 10

  Trask took a step toward her, coming fully into the patio’s lighting. “So am I right?”

  Felicia looked up at him, suddenly wishing he’d stayed back in the dark. His chiseled features were now clearly visible. She hated admitting it but Trask Elgin Maxwell was a good-looking man. He was dark on dark in dark. Everything about him was dark, and she couldn’t help wondering about the old saying “the darker the berry, the sweeter the juice.”

  His skin was a shade of deep, dark chocolate, and his short hair was curly black. His eyes, his most striking feature, were as dark as black ink. He was tall, way over six feet, and his shoulders were massive, and his body was sculptured, well defined, and built. Unfortunately, it exuded virility and for some unknown reason Felicia felt her entire body responding to it.

  “I asked if I was right,” Trask repeated.

  Felicia frowned, not understanding the attraction she suddenly felt and definitely did not like. She totally and outright refused to even consider any interest in Trask on a personal level. She never had any and she never would have any. Her sudden attraction had to be the result of those sweet rolls she had eaten tonight. All that sugar was turning her brain to mush.

  “If anybody ought to know it’s you and Clayton. How many times did the two of you hear me complain about wearing a bra?”

  “Too many. In fact I still have the first bra your mother bought you. You couldn’t wait to get to school that day to take it off. You gave it to me to get rid of.”

  Felicia couldn’t help but remember that day. Nor could she help smiling at the memory. “And you didn’t get rid of it?”

  “No, I kept it. I figured that one day you’d ask for it back.”

  She smiled sweetly up at him. “Hardly.”

  Trask came a step closer. “In fact, Felicia, while packing to move back here, I came across something else of yours that I have.”

  Felicia raised a curious brow. “What?”

  He smiled wickedly. “I still have a pair of your panties.”

  She gave him a cutting look. “A pair of my panties? I don’t think so.”

  Trask chuckled. “I know so.”

  Felicia frowned and searched her memory for the slim chance that she had given him a pair of her undergarments at one time or another. She, Clayton, and Trask had done a lot of crazy things as teenagers growing up, but…

  When she was convinced she had never given him a pair of her undies, she glared at him. “How did you get them? I don’t recall ever giving them to you.”

  “You didn’t. I acquired them during one of those famous panty raids at Texas Southern. It was during our freshman year.” He chuckled softly. “I didn’t know girls’ underwear came in so many shapes, sizes, and colors.”

  “And you think you snatched a pair of mine?”

  “I know I did.”

  Felicia’s gaze narrowed at him. “I hate to be the one to burst your bubble after all these years, but you didn’t get a pair of mine.”

  “How can you be so sure of that?”

  “Because just like the bra, I never got the hang of wearing panties either.”

  Felicia watched as Trask’s gaze shifted from her face and slowly moved downward to zero in on the middle part of her body. The heat of his gaze was so hot, she actually felt her pelvic muscles burn with its intensity. She blinked and stared at him, wondering what on earth was happening to her and why Trask was looking at her that way. Was he searching for proof of what she had just said? If that was the case, then she would oblige him. She took a full turn around slowly; to show him just how clingy and smooth the dress fit her body.

  “See, Trask, no panty lines.” She saw his jaw drop slightly and she smiled. The thought that she had shocked him kept her smiling.

  “You’re kidding about not wearing undergarments, aren’t you?” Trask finally found his voice to ask. The tone of his voice was considerably low.

  Felicia waited a few seconds before answering his question. If his gaze hadn’t heated her up moments earlier, the huskiness of his voice sure did. She felt her heart pounding as she became aware of another side of Trask. A very desirable side.

  “Maybe. Maybe not. Only my body knows for sure,” Felicia said glaring. She didn’t like the sexual awareness she was experiencing from being around him.

  Unknown to Felicia, Trask was also experiencing a similar episode of sexual awareness. And he didn’t like it any more than she did. He suddenly noticed how the patio lights danced across her features. Her smooth skin was a rich creamy shade of cocoa, and her eyes, which were a deep, dark brown, openly revealed whatever mood she was in. During his day, he had seen them go from naughty to nice…but mostly naughty. Her hair, which for years had been hidden under her Chicago Cubs baseball cap, was a rich, glossy black; it touched her shoulders in a very chic style. His breathing wavered slightly when he noticed just how sexy her lips looked when she was angry. And the thought that there was a possibility that she didn’t have a stitch of clothing on under her dress…

  “You enjoy being a tease, don’t you, Felicia?” Before she could answer he added, “Just look at the way you’re dressed.” He spoke curtly, trying to retain control of his mind and body.

  Anger flared in Felicia’s eyes. Under no circumstances would she take insults from Trask. “So I like a little razzle-dazzle and flash in my wardrobe. What’s it to you, Trask Maxwell?”

  “It means nothing to me. What you do is your business.”

  “I’m glad you know that. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have other, more important things to do with my time than spend it out here with you.”

  “Like looking around for husband number three?”

  “Why? Are you interested? I know for a fact you’re loaded. With all those endorsements you’re doing, and with your new job as a sports commentator, you probably have megabucks rolling in. Should I add your name to my list of prospects?” she asked angrily.

  Felicia saw the anger darkening his cheekbones and was giddy about it. It filled her with joy to know she had ticked Trask off yet again.

  “It’s women like you that I’m determined to stay away from,” he said coolly.

  “Smart move,” Felicia responded with a deceptively sweet smile. “Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going back inside.”

  When she made a move to walk past him he touched her arm to stop her. The contact was hot, quick, electrifying. She knew he had felt it, too, when they both jerked back at the same time. They stared at each other, astonished, amazed, and momentarily at a loss for words.

  It was Trask who finally broke the silence. He tried to ignore the sizzling current that had flashed between them, although an indescribable heat had gathered in the lower part of his body. He took a closer step toward her. “Aren’t you going to welcome me back home, Felicia?”

  “In your dreams,” she replied, recovering enough to get the words out and taking a step back. She didn’t like the idea of his big body being to close to hers, especially now that the nipples of her breast had suddenly become taut and achingly hard. She crossed her arms over her chest so that he wouldn’t notice that fact.

  “To be quite honest with you,” she continued, trying desperately not to forget that the two of them didn’t get along, “I’m not sure there’s room enough in Houston for the both of us now.”

  “We’ll make room.”

  “In other words, you’ll stay out of my way, and I’m to stay out of yours.”

  His smile was slow, sexy. “That’s a deal, sweetheart.”

  Felicia tipped her head back, looked him straight in the eyes, and tried to keep a lid on her temper. “That’s fine with me.”

  She had no intentions of doing the customary thing and shaking hands with him to seal their agreement. The mere thought of touching Trask again heated her in too many places…especially one very intimate place. Knowing she had to get away from him as soon as possible, she quickly turned and went back inside, where the party was still in full swing.

  Trask w
as left alone on the patio to ponder two questions. The first one of which was, what in the world had passed between him and Felicia tonight? And the second was, did she or did she not wear undergarments under her clothing?

  Two

  Felicia felt an overwhelming sense of relief when she opened the door to her home less than an hour later. She was totally disgusted with her inability to defuse the feelings of sexual desire that Trask had effortlessly ignited within her tonight.

  Her mind kept replaying images of him dressed in those sexy black jeans and that black sports shirt. Again the description of dark on dark in dark came to mind. And the memory of his scent-manly, musky, and male-made tremors ripple through her. For the first time ever, Trask had unsettled her--so much in fact that, after leaving him on the patio, she had immediately left the party. It had taken the entire drive home to try to pull herself back together.

  “Mrs. Evans, I didn’t expect you back this early.” The cheery voice of Mrs. Woods met her in the foyer. The elderly lady lived next door with her son and daughter-in-law and, on occasion, kept Austin for Felicia.

  “I’m sorry. I did it again,” the older woman added before Felicia could respond to her statement about returning early. “I forgot your last name isn’t Evans anymore.”

  Felicia smiled. She had known that, when she had made the decision to go back to using her maiden name of Madaris, it would cause some confusion. But she had not wanted to use her former husband’s name any longer. Especially now, since her second husband had remarried.

  “That’s all right, Mrs. Woods. No harm’s been done. I know it’ll take some getting use to,” Felicia said, coming into the living room and placing her purse down on the table. “How was Austin tonight?”

  Mrs. Woods beamed. “He was fine as usual. Tyra came over and played with him for a while. As usual, the two of them had fun together.”

  Felicia nodded. Tyra was Mrs. Wood’s six-year-old granddaughter. Although there was a two-year difference in Tyra’s and Austin’s ages, they were perfect playmates. Now that Tyra had started school, they didn’t get to see each other as much as they used to. Felicia was glad to hear that Tyra and Austin had spent some time together tonight.

  “You should be proud of yourself, Mrs. Madaris,” Mrs. Wood continued. “Austin is such a special little boy. And he’s so smart, too. There aren’t many four year olds who can read and write as well as he does. Tonight, he and Tyra were busy working on his letter to Santa.” Mrs. Woods chuckled. “I believe it’s three pages long, too. I imagine a boy his age would want a lot of stuff.”

  “Yes, I imagine he would at that age,” Felicia said, sharing Mrs. Wood’s chuckle as she walked the older lady to the door. “Thanks again for watching Austin for me tonight.”

  “It was my pleasure. Like I said before, he’s special. Good night.”

  “Good night, Mrs. Woods.” Felicia closed the door and leaned against it for a moment. Mrs. Woods was right. Austin was a special little boy, and she was so thankful that he was hers.

  A shudder passed through Felicia when she thought of how close she had come to losing him nearly five months ago. If nothing else, that had been her wake-up call and had made her take a closer look at her priorities in life.

  Moving past the living room she immediately went into her son’s room. He was there in his bed, sound asleep. Although Austin had recently gotten a haircut, his hair still had distinct curls in it. Those curls had been the only things he had inherited from his father and her first husband, Steven Gardner.

  Steven was the spoiled, rich son of Andrew Gardner, a businessman who owned several hotel chains along the West Coast. She had met Steven at a party while visiting a friend in California. She had been drawn to his good looks, his bad-boy image, and most importantly, his money. Within a week they had gotten married. Not once did she consider the fact that she didn’t love him. All she had cared about at the time was that marrying him fit nicely with her plans to wed a man of wealth.

  It didn’t take long for her to discover that Steven had only married her to spite his parents. And if his sudden change in attitude toward her hadn’t been a rude awakening, then meeting his parents for the first time definitely had.

  Felicia had been so used to being pampered all her life by her family that, when she had encountered the elder Gardner’s hostile attitude toward her, she hadn’t known how to handle it. They hadn’t hesitated to let her know that, as far as they were concerned, she was not good enough for their son. But the one thing she refused to do was disappear from Steven’s life as his parents had suggested. Even after finding out she was pregnant, they didn’t change their attitude toward her.

  Steven had accused her of deliberately getting pregnant to keep him trapped in their marriage. And his attitude toward her had worsened. Two weeks after Austin was born, Steven had informed her that he wanted out of their marriage. She had returned to Texas a divorced woman when Austin was merely six weeks old.

  Steven had never bothered to come visit his son, and last year she had received word from friends in California that he had gotten killed in an auto accident. He had been intoxicated and had lost control of his car while traveling at a high rate of speed. She had tried calling his parents and had eventually left messages when she hadn’t been able to reach them. Like Steven, they had never come to visit Austin or acknowledge his existence. But each year at Christmas time she would send them a photo of Austin with Santa. They had never acknowledged those photos either.

  Releasing a heavy sigh, Felicia walked over to the window, pushed the curtain aside, and looked out at the darkness. You would have thought that her disastrous marriage to Steven would have taught her a lesson about marrying for money instead of love, but it hadn’t. By the time Austin was celebrating his second birthday, she was getting married again--this time to a prominent surgeon by the name of Charles Evans. Again she had found herself marrying for money instead of love.

  At first it seemed things were going great between her and Charles. She enjoyed her role as a doctor’s wife and thoroughly appreciated how generous he was with his money. Her appreciation ended the day she discovered he was having an affair with one of his patients. She’d had the misfortune of walking in on the two of them while they were making love one afternoon in his office. A little more than a year later, she was divorced once again.

  Charles’s betrayal had angered her. It had made her bitter, resentful, and spiteful. And those attitudes would have continued had she not come close to losing Austin. She would never forget that day as long as she lived.

  She had gone out on a date that evening and had left Austin with a baby-sitter. The sixteen-year-old girl had been highly recommended by a few people in the neighborhood. Felicia would never forget the call she had received at the restaurant, advising her that Austin had nearly drowned in their pool and was being rushed to the emergency room. The girl had left him alone for a second to go back in the house to answer the phone. Luckily she had known CPR and was able to administer first aid until the paramedics had arrived.

  The next twenty-four hours had been critical, and at one time, it was doubtful that Austin would make it. It struck her hard that she had spent all her free time pursuing wealthy men and had not seen to it that Austin received adequate swimming lessons.

  That night, while facing the possibility of losing her son, she realized something very elemental. She didn’t need an extravagant lifestyle to be rich. Being rich was not always measured in terms of material possessions. That night, it suddenly became crystal clear that for four years God had blessed her with the greatest richness of all: her son. Having Austin made her the richest woman on earth. She had not fully understood until then that she had not obtained her wealth from any material gain, but as blessings from God.

  In the hospital’s chapel, she had earnestly sought forgiveness and had prayed to God for another chance to appreciate the rich life that He had already given her: a life with her son. The Lord heard her prayer and answered
it. Two days later, Austin had been released from the hospital to go home, suffering no permanent damage from his near death experience.

  Felicia thought about all the changes she had made in her life since that night. Positive changes. Everyone, including her family, had been surprised by those changes. And through it all, the entire Madaris clan had provided her with unwavering support. It was wonderful to have such a large close-knit family that was constantly spreading so much love and care. Her family, she belatedly realized, had always been a blessing by being there for her through the years. Their presence had been another richness she had taken for granted.

  Felicia closed her eyes briefly when she remembered Trask’s accusations tonight about her looking for a rich husband. If only he knew how wrong he was. But then, he saw her as the old Felicia, the one who had always made marrying a rich man a priority. His snide barbs tonight about her looking for a rich husband indicated as much. He probably would be shocked to know that she had not dated since that incident with Austin.

  Felicia turned to move away from the window. Going back over to Austin’s bed, she was about to pull the covers up around him when she saw his letter to Santa beside him. It was the one he and Tyra had worked on together. And it was three pages long, as Mrs. Woods had said.

  Curious as to what all Austin wanted for Christmas, she took the letter into the kitchen. She sat down at the table and began reading.

  Dear Santa,

  My mommy said I’ve bein a good boy this year, so I hope u will give me my Christmas wish. Mor than anything, I want a Daddy. I had 2 daddies befor but they didn’t stay. Please give me a daddy who will stay forever. I no that is a lot to ask for, so if you can’t give me a Daddy who will stay forever, can u pleaze give me 1 just for the Holidazs? If I could get him earlay, he can help us pick out our Christmas tree. I promiz to give him back to u on Neu Year Day. I want him to do guy stuff wiz me. I luv my mom, but she does not know how to do guy stuff. And my big couszin Clayton is marriz now so he doesn’t come around az much. A Daddy for the Holidazs is all I’m asking four this year. Pleaze give me a daddy to luv me.